Finding Connection When the Holidays Feel Lonely

 

Divorce, dysfunctional family issues, getting fired or laid off, the passing of a loved one, being diagnosed with cancer – these are huge problems that cause tremendous pain in our lives. Even smaller issues in our life, such as disagreements with a spouse or friend, children having issues in school, not getting a raise, minor health problems cause pain and stress need to be dealt with. 

 

 

Loneliness during the holidays is more common than most people realize. And it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It simply means you’re human, wired for connection, longing for belonging, and feeling the absence of it more intensely during a season that emphasizes togetherness.


Below are a few compassionate, practical ways to navigate these feelings and create meaningful moments of connection, even when circumstances are far from ideal, helping you deal with things for the next holiday season.

 

 

5 Practical Tips To Work Through Your Feelings

 

 

Internalizing pain is never good. Avoidance always leads to more problems. When we bottle-up our pain and push it deep down inside our psyche, it takes a toll on our overall health – mind, body, and soul. Oftentimes we find ourselves unable to focus and concentrate, like we’re disconnected. We end up slogging through our daily activities. Showing up and being present are two different things. Walking around with burdens makes us feel like the we have the weight of the world resting on our shoulders. Ouch!


Avoidance and internalization of the pain causes a chain reaction in all areas of our lives. What starts off as feeling down can transform into a deeper level of sadness and possibly morph into depression. On the flip side, our pain can lead to anger. Anger could be unleashed unfairly on our loved ones, children, friends and even strangers. Every day, the news is filled with stories of people behaving badly on planes, at work, in stores, etc. The root to a lot of this bad behavior comes from unresolved pain.

 

 

Pain from negative events affects us on an emotional level

 

 

1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling Without Judgment

Many people try to push loneliness away or tell themselves they shouldn’t feel this way. But acknowledging the emotion is the first step to easing it. It’s okay to feel sadness, longing, or even anger about what the holidays aren’t this year. Giving yourself permission to feel makes room for healing.


Try writing your thoughts in a journal, talking to a supportive friend, or simply saying aloud:
“This is a tough moment, and I’m allowed to feel what I feel.”


2. Create Your Own Meaningful Rituals

If traditional holiday gatherings aren’t possible, you can still create rituals that bring warmth and comfort.


A few ideas:

  • Light a candle each evening to honor loved ones who have passed.
  • Cook a dish that brings back positive memories.
  • Send handwritten notes to people who uplift you.
  • Make a new tradition: a movie marathon, a nature walk, or a special self-care day.

Rituals give structure to the season and help you feel grounded.


3. Reach Out Even in Small Ways

Loneliness can tempt us to withdraw, but reaching out can make a surprising difference, even if it’s something small:

  • Call or text someone you trust.
  • Join a virtual or local community group.
  • Attend a holiday event at a library, community center, or place of worship.
  • Volunteer. Serving others is one of the strongest antidotes to isolation.


You never know who else is feeling the same way and would welcome connection.


4. Give Yourself Permission to Set Boundaries

For those who are estranged from family or keeping distance for mental-health reasons, the holidays can stir up guilt or pressure to reconnect. Remember: boundaries protect your peace, especially if past interactions have been painful.


It’s okay to:

  • Decline invitations that feel unsafe or draining.
  • Limit time with certain individuals.
  • Choose supportive “chosen family” instead.


Your emotional well-being matters during the holidays and every day.


5. Focus on What You Can Control

When loneliness hits hard, it helps to come back to small, intentional acts that nurture you.

  • Make your home cozy with lights or soothing scents.
  • Take a morning walk to clear your mind.
  • Listen to uplifting music or guided meditations.
  • Plan something to look forward to, a class, a trip, a hobby, a project.

You may not be able to control the distance or the loss, but you can support yourself through it.

 

 

You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone

 

 

If this holiday season feels heavy or isolating, reaching out for support can make a world of difference. Talking with a licensed mental health professional can help you understand your emotions, develop coping strategies, and feel more grounded and connected.

 

Helen at Creative Counseling Center is here to help you move through these feelings with compassion and guidance, at your own pace.

 

Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART): A Gentle, Effective Way to Heal

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When Holiday Expectations Cause Stress, Rewriting the Season on Your Own Terms

By Helen Murray • January 30, 2026
The holidays are often painted as a picture-perfect time filled with laughter, joy, delicious food, and family harmony. Everywhere we look, in commercials, movies, social media feeds, even store displays, we see the same message: This is supposed to be the happiest time of the year. But for many people, that expectation creates stress instead of comfort. Trying to keep up with traditions, meet everyone’s needs, squeeze in events, manage family dynamics, or recreate an idealized holiday can feel overwhelming. And when real life doesn’t look like the glossy version we imagine, it’s easy to feel disappointed, guilty, or like we’re somehow “falling short.” If holiday expectations have been weighing you down, know this: you’re not alone, and there are healthier, gentler ways to navigate the season.